Cold as fire

It's good that I still remember the password and ID after such a long time.

I'm not avoiding you guys on purpose, I think it's just the OCD getting the most out of me, or me getting the most out of OCD, whatever.

I didnt spend more than 5 lunches in entire Sem 3 without notes, or with companion, or both.

I think I didnt have more than 5 family dinners in entire Sem 3 as well.

Writing and composing? I seriously thought of that before? I havent had a non-medical book with me for more than 10 minutes for 1 year I think.

-I'm not writing these to exemplify my dedication, but simply to let you guys know that it's not that I havent been allocating any time for you guys, I havent been making time for my best high school buddies(though 1 of them is OCD as well), I havent been allowing myself anytime as well.

The OCD, I had NO idea about it at all I have it when I entered IMU. I literally slipped from an undecided medical student into the shoes of a Type A personality student...

I didnt tell you all this during viva because I was still caught up in a huge drama, and somehow, till this very day I have no idea how the whole drama changed my personality and my life.

I just dont seek for a friends-filled birthday celebration anymore, not looking for a karaoke session, a dinner with group of friends etc.

As for what I want to achieve out of this, I hope to live a good life in a good place, have my skills recognized, accepted by a good hospital and further my training, that's all. Dont need a 3-storey tall bungalow, a BMW, a Nobel prize, whatever.

Does this spell materialism? I hope not, I do try to listen, and help the people around me as much as possible(except all the 2 or 3 hour long gatherings..)

-I swear that I had no idea that I'm aiming for all this 'simple, old' stuff when I came in. That you should be able to tell that the change in a mere 1.5 years is significant enough.

As for am I still a part of the group? I am, but then again why do you need someone who cant be there most of the time?

Does it sound complicated? Perhaps. Through every stage in my humble life I always find it hard to fit in the norm.